What Would You Do?

     What would you do? When you first read the question you start to ponder upon different situations. You’re probably thinking of different situations which I could probably be speaking about. Things such as relationships, sports, and overall life situations we lead you to ask the question to a friend “What would you do?” In most situations people would choose to do what was right or even what made them happy.

                A friend, supporter, and inspiring male by the name of Pendarvis sparked this question. On twitter @OGpenn tweeted “Sometimes you have to ask yourself: if u didn't have to worry about $, education, health, bills, ect...What would u do with your life?” This very question sparked a great debate in my mind and in turn speaks volumes on personal happiness. Upon hearing the question I asked many others “what would you do with your life?”

                The responses given varied some people said they would still go to school for the “love of knowledge”, while others said they would try something new every single day. I realized that one thing was common in all the responses that I received and that common factor was happiness. When each person answered they spoke upon how the thing they would choose to do would make them happy despite what others thought.

                Now I will ask you another question “Are you happy?” Most of us will answer this question yes because we as people do not like to show others our weakness, however, I will ask you again “Are you happy?” You see most of us choose to go to school only because we have to and our hearts are not into what we are doing. Many students in college have chosen majors only to make other people within their lives happy.

                In all honesty there is no way on earth that money, education, health, and bills will all disappear from our radar of importance. Regardless of this fact we must increase our self-happiness as people and individuals on earth. Although we are forced by society virtually to become successful or be nothing at all , we have to think of ourselves. On this earth although you have friends you must remember that no person or individual will make you happier than you can make yourself.

                Knowing that you are the only person that can make yourself completely happy, you must remember this one thing. Upon graduation from school or finishing your education or even in life period remember this; your happiness is all important. So to end this blog post I will ask you a new question “What would you do to make yourself happy?” Upon answering this question promise yourself that regardless of whom you choose to make happy in life that you will remember yourself. Neglecting personal happiness is a big problem within men and women today. In my own opinion it is the fastest way to cause personal depression. This being said at the end of the day remember that loving yourself is everything and loving everyone can sometimes mean nothing.

Addressing A Woman's Emotional Needs- A Valentine's Day Special.

I've found that for a lot of people (including me), at times their PU (pickup) game is tight. But their relationship management skills suck bigtime. This article by Frank B Kermit (from the montreal lair) helps address womens emotional needs and makes hooking relationships that much easier.

Frank has several books on lulu.com and the one where he speaks about addressing womens emotional needs (there are 10 of them) 'Everything out of her mouth is a test' is the pick of the bunch. An excellent matrix-aware treatise on relationship management.

How and Why Women Test Men and About What...

Here it is: My Frank B Kermit Philosophy on Men, Women and Relationships and the definition of a test.
A TEST: is when a woman says or does something, specifically to evoke a reaction out of a man, whether verbal or action based. It is a SUB-CONSCIOUS mechanism that a woman uses to find out about what kind of man she is dealing with. It is the predictor and basis for all sexual attraction and love she will have for a man. Every test is designed to make her feel special (your lover) when a man passes it, or makes her feel un-special (thus turns her into your mother) if you fail it.


At least, that is how I see it.

During the process of my development, I went searching for one or two unifying themes to apply as a rule when I attempted to analyze relationships between men and women.

I came up with the following:

The Frank B Kermit theory:

1-Everything out of her mouth is a test (even when it is not, treat it as so anyways)
2-A woman can only fit into 1 OF 2 roles in any mans life. Mother or Lover.
3-She constantly tests you to see what role she should follow
4-Within each test is an emotional need being communicated
5-If you address the emotional need, you pass the test, she feels attracted to you, she gets to be your lover and you have sex
6-If you do not address the emotional need, you fail the test, she loses attraction to you, she is forced to assume the role of your mother and you do not get sex

and the final part to this:

7-A women always tests because her instinct to mother is stronger than her instincts for sex



I have identified 10 emotional-need categories, but for the purposes of this book, I will only list the category names here, and not a lengthy description of each.

The 10 Emotional Needs of a Woman

1-The protection of her most valuable asset: Her Reputation

2-Women want to FEEEEL a range of emotions. Do not try to make her happy, give her a full range from fury to ecstasy. This is a.k.a. her Drama Cookie

3-Cater to the little girl in her. Know the difference when to ignore her ramblings and when she needs you to give her a hug. Sometimes she just needs to be reassured like a little kid

4-Be dominant and take responsibility for leading the relationship. This includes making all the decisions, and taking 100% responsibility for the sex in the relationship. It all has to be the mans fault

5-She fears abandonment. This is part biological programming, as in the event she is left with a child, she needs to be sure that she will not be abandoned, and left alone to care for it. This covers her emotional need to feel secure.

6-Trust. The key here is if she can trust you to be honest with her; even if you know she will not like what you have to say. In a womans reality, she is used to people lying to her ALL THE TIME because of the way she looks, or they simply want something from her. If you are willing to piss her off with your honesty, you have demonstrated that she can trust you.

7-Her physical safety. A man must demonstrate that he is capable of protecting her physically from the threats of the outside world. This is to make her feel safe.

8-Women need to know you can handle her TRUE sexuality. She will only be as wonton with you as you demonstrate that you can handle it. She needs to explore her sexuality and let it be free with you as a Natural Woman.

9-Prove that you are desirable as mate.

10-Prove that you are not a homosexual. She knows every homosexual male friend she has that is not out of the closet yet. Could you be one too?


Regardless of what she tests you with, if you can spot one of these ten emotional needs in-between her words and you address that need by your communication and actions, you will pass the test, and she will by default feel attraction for you, and desire to be your lover.


I think what happens in most relationships is that a man attracts a woman as his lover, and over time, she becomes more like his mother to him, thus sacrificing her attraction to him. In my unscientific-based opinion, that is when the relationship starts to die.

That is my theory anyways. 


Feel free to comment. 

                                                                                                                                                 -Von C.

Valentine's Day- "Is it Really for Me?"

Valentines Day is coming up and I've noticed that many women are pressuring men into relationships or V-day dinner dates with them so they can get lots of attention or feel loved on this special super romantic day

To quote actor Ashton Kutcher:

““I hate Valentine’s Day. I think every day should be a day of romance”

I gotta admit, I almost fell victim until I saw a Valentine’s Day countdown on ESPN. This was the last straw, why must we submit to some consumer based holiday?

If you have watched any NBA game on any ESPN affiliated networks, you have noticed the increase in commercial for different jewelry companies such as Kay, Jared and JcPenny. It’s almost like they are pressuring men to buy “gifts” for no apparent reason at all.

This quote by Armand Salacrou sounds like he is describing Valentine's Day

““Economy is a way of spending money without getting any pleasure out of it”

Fellas if you are only shown love/respect  on valentine's day, then it is time to leave point blank period. Not only  as  a man, but as a person you should always demand respect. without respect you don't have anything. the same applies to ladies, if your man only shows you love on 3 days out of the year, why are you still with that person?

 To me V-day is not a special day anymore.  I feel no need to follow the trend of buying flowers, candy and/or waiting in long lines at a restaurant for a romantic dinner.

Before running out to the store and  buying those roses, build-a-bears, and other “sweet” things, ask yourself these questions “why am i doing this”, “what will this truly accomplish” and “does the girl truly deserve this”.

If you truthfully answer all of these questions you will come to the realization that you can A. spend your money more wisely, refocus on the task at hand (education or  improvement of one’s self) and will allow a man to reevaluate the woman or their relationship with the woman.

It’s good to show appreciation to those who are important to you, but you shouldn’t focus your appreciation during just one day.

I guarantee that you can find better uses for your money. For example, why don’t you just donate to Hati

If you are going to buy a girl a Valentine’s Day present please have a limit for spending. For example, if you have only known the girl for five months or less please don’t go over $10 dollars, especially if you are not in a relationship.

If you take the young lady out to a restaurant, there is a $50 limit. Anything higher enters Trick’n territory and Halloween has already passed.

 One last point i would like to leave all the young men with:

Why is it that you never see any commercials where a woman is purchasing a valentines day gift for a man?

How about we switch it up this year.

                                                                                                                        -Von C.

Four types of Women-The makeup of a woman

1. The wife type (Claire Huxtable): This type is rare. She tends to be somewhat shy, is not boy crazy and has a maternal quality about her that children and men find endearing. She is kind and courteous. She is compassionate and empathetic at an early age. She is not inclined to make fun of boys and will not hurt their feelings. She is upbeat and friendly and often gets hit on because she will smile and return a strangers respectful greeting. At a dance or party she will dance with most males who ask her just to be kind. She is modest and does not dress provocatively. She is not attracted to thugs, bums, fools and rogues and the idea of sleeping with an assortment of men is repulsive and revolting to her. She dreams of being with one man and that man would be her husband. This lady does not last long in the public domain of the single. She has no idea of what a “man shortage” is. She marries the best of the many good men who pursue her.

2. The spinster type (Condoleeza Rice): This type is less common. She is awkward and repressed. She exudes a cold and unapproachable aura and has zero sensuality. She doesn’t like to be touched and is uncomfortable with displays of affection. She dresses for function—not attraction. She may be seen as an aloof sort and would rather stay at home than socialize. She usually has one job and does it well. She will hold onto it for life if she can. She knows she must fend for herself and has reconciled within herself that she will be alone. She understands that she will never marry or come under the care and protection of a man. She has few close friends but may have a houseful of animals as she is more comfortable with critters than people. She will probably die alone in an institution or at home.

3. The mistress type (Halle Berry): This type is most common. The mistress represents the great majority of females in our society. She is the typical ankle. She is not averse to hanging out in clubs and it is not difficult to get her into bed if she thinks she likes you. She likes to be out in the streets and has no problem with serial dating or, on occasion, she may juggle date and sleep with more than one man at a time. She usually is needy and as such constantly finds herself exercising poor judgment choosing men. She lacks the kind of inner cohesion and consistency of character required of a wife. If she marries, she will not be successful as a wife and will sooner or later cheat on her spouse. Her dysfunction disables her ability to love a decent man. She subconsciously knows that she is an inadequate woman and as such chooses to mate and breed with inferior men.

4. The prostitute type (Madonna): This type was rare but is becoming more common in today’s ankle world. She is precocious, and was so, even as a little girl. She is bold and brash and easily bored, even with her own company. She has little problem going home from a bar with a strange man. She can be the sexual aggressor—and often is. She is the typical “crazy bitch” that gives “good coochie.” And she has learned to use its power to her advantage. Men tend to like her because she is sexually easy, is uninhibited and knows how to flatter a man’s ego. She doesn’t have a difficult time persuading men to buy things for her and pay a few bills. She can be cold and callous and can detach herself emotionally from a man in an instant when she is done with him. She can fall into maniacal fits of public and private rage if she doesn’t get her way, or she may freak-out for no reason at all. She is a sexual mercenary and probably a narcissist.

There may be some overlap among the above archetypes. The task for any good man who seeks a wife is to learn to discern the wife over the other archetypes, particularly the mistress as she can sometimes masquerade as the wife type, though she can’t do it indefinitely. Her hidden dysfunctions will assert themselves when she is under stress. Look for the mistresses red flags because she represents the overwhelming majority of ankles. The spinster is more easily identified as the one with zero sex appeal. The prostitute can be very hard to resist but not hard to spot. Married and engaged men would do well to not be alone with her. Remember the sluttish cousin who seduced Teri’s (Vanessa Williams) husband (Michael Beach) in Soul Food the movie?

Be like a prospector panning for gold. Know that you may have to sift through much gravel before you find your treasure. Enlarge your field of operation. Stake your mining claim on the world and don’t limit your wife prospecting to a few small streams. You will want your wife at your side when the coming disaster strikes. It will be the remnant of good men and good women who will seed the resurrection of the new world. Christians will call the new world the New Jerusalem. Choose your belief. I have. The world will change.

Be advised—the current frenzy of day to day living is not going to gradually fade out. The end will come in the blink of an eye; most will not be prepared. When our hollow society has passed its tipping point, things will collapse quickly. When the oil stops flowing and the lights go out for good, know the end has come. When the spigots stop flowing and the heat grows forever cold, know that the end has come. When the stores run bare and there is no food anywhere, know that the end has come. The dead will feast on the living. Women and children not under the protection of strong and stout men will be consumed in a fiery feast. Know that we are in the 11th hour and the 59th minute. Midnight is almost upon us. Who knows when that last second will give up its ghost?

Ladies & Gentlemen please discuss

More Men Marrying Wealthier Women

Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.

“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.

An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.

“Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.”

The analysis examines Americans 30 to 44 years old, the first generation in which more women than men have college degrees. Women’s earnings have been increasing faster than men’s since the 1970s.

“We’ve known for some time that men need marriage more than women from the standpoint of physical and mental well-being,” said Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., and research director for the Council on Contemporary Families, a research and advocacy group. “Now it is becoming increasingly important to their economic well-being as well.”

The education and income gap has grown even more in the latest recession, when men held about three in four of the jobs that were lost. The Census Bureau said Friday that among married couples with children, only the wife worked in 7 percent of the households last year, compared with 5 percent in 2007. The percentage rose to 12 percent from 9 percent for blacks, among whom the education and income gap by gender has typically been even greater.

“I’m not married, I would like to be married, and my friends are all in a similar situation,” said Dr. Rajalla Prewitt, a 38-year-old psychiatrist in New Jersey. “We’re having difficulty finding someone where there’s a meeting of the minds, where we can have the same goals and values.”

“Particularly, African-American men who are educated want a traditional home where they are the breadwinner,” said Dr. Prewitt, who is a black woman.

In 2007, the Pew report found, median household incomes of married men, married women and unmarried women were all about 60 percent higher than in 1970. But among unmarried men, median household income rose by only 16 percent. These days, men who marry typically gain another breadwinner.

In 1970, 28 percent of wives had husbands who were better educated, and 20 percent were married to men with less education. By 2007, the comparable figures were 19 percent and 28 percent. In 1970, 4 percent of husbands had wives who made more money; in 2007, 22 percent did.

College-educated wives are less likely to have a husband who is college-educated and in the highest income bracket than they were in 1970, and married women are less likely to have a husband who works.

“Among all married couples,” the report said, “wives contribute a growing share of the household income, and a rising share of those couples include a wife who earns more than her husband.”

While marriage rates have declined over all, women with college degrees are still more likely to marry today than less educated women.

But some women find that the dating pressures are intense. Syreeta McFadden, a 35-year-old Columbia and Sarah Lawrence graduate who is between jobs after working in real estate development, said: “With men of any ethnic group, it’s a little intimidating for them to encounter smart women. Money is tricky.

“But, I think for me, it comes down to compatibility,” Ms. McFadden said. “Can you grow with me? Or as my genius friend the textile designer says, she asks on first dates or meeting men in bars, ‘Do you have a passport and a library card?’ ”

Elaine Richardson, who is in her 50s, is divorced and owns a health care consulting firm in Westchester, said that men “call you high maintenance if you look like you don’t need anyone to take care of you.”

Professor Coontz at Evergreen State recalled that from the late 19th century through the 1940s, it was not uncommon for a woman to finish high school or go to college and marry a man who made more but was less educated.

“This changed in the 1950s to 1970, as financial returns to education really mounted for men, but not for women,” Professor Coontz said.

The latest shift, Professor Coontz said, “is truly a sea change in gender relations within marriage.”

“Many people have worried that men’s increasing dependence on their wives, especially if they are laid off, might lead to the kind of backlash against women workers that happened in the Great Depression,” Professor Coontz said. “But I think that wives’ work has become so normative that this is unlikely.”

Ms. Zielinski, the fashion stylist, said her best friend, a man, told her once: “ ‘You are confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self-sufficient. What man is going to want you?’ He laughed, but I found that pretty depressing.”


feel free to comment and discuss this topic

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